She's a He!

I had just come out of a meeting at City Hall and was getting on my Harley when I heard someone on the sidewalk behind me. "He's wearing a dress...and that's a wig he's wearing...not his real hair!" I didn't hear him clearly at first, I wasn't really paying attention. I didn't know he was addressing me. I looked up and a small thin Indian (from India Indian) man was pointing out the back profile of a passerby; short skirt with long legs extending to outrageous high-heels. A long wig sat cockeyed on her head and went down to her ass. Yup--Transvestite alert!

City Hall isn't far from the Tenderloin and some famous TV hotspots. TV's are as common around there as herpes on hookers. "Why does he do that?" the man asked. What am I supposed to say? That there are those of us with gender identity issues? That this is an area where people feel free to express their true gender feelings? To keep me out of his gender-bending attraction/aversion moment?

"Hey," I said while shrugging my shoulders. "You're asking the wrong person." He stuck his hands in his pockets, shook his head--he was visibly agitated. Geez, get over it, I thought.

"Why would a man want to be a woman? I don't get it," he continued. By that time I had my helmet on and was ready to go. I didn't want to get into a long discussion about this with him. I straddled the Harley and pushed the start button. I love the deep, throaty sound it makes when you twist the throttle to give it some gas. The man looked at me and smiled.

"I've got to go." I waved.

"You be careful on that thing. God bless you." He waved and walked back to his van, waiting for whoever he was driving that day. I threw the bike into first gear and gave it some throttle--leaned into the traffic and I was off.

Sometimes (not often) I forget what I am--a transsexual woman. I'm able to go about my life and not worry about people thinking of me what that guy thought of the TV. And sometimes I take that gift for granted. I shouldn't. Transgenders are out there in the world willingly facing criticism, ridicule, and questions all the time just for the sake of being free of the gender identity disorder that is so debilitating. I don't think I could do what those that don't pass well endure daily. I admire them, but I'm thankful I don't have to go through that.

So did I learn anything? Will I confront other people with their prejudices if given the opportunity again? Will I start wearing a button that reads: I'm transsexual and proud! Will I become a pink activist?

No--to all the above. I'm going to go about my life quietly and politely. I'm going to cruise under the radar. There will be no buttons for me. I didn't change gender to be an activist, or to educate others, or change the world. I just want to be me--that's it. Yes, it's selfish. But I feel like I've earned the right.